I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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