Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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