It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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