i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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