piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the day after is always just damage control
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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