I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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