let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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