If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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