He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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