Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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