he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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