He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize