one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize