When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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