two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize