I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize