i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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