he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
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Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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