I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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