I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize