It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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