Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
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Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize