I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize