did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize