you have to choose: penises or morals?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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