this must be what syphilis tastes like
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize