Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
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while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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