Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize