So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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