He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
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I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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