Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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