Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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