He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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