my sisters under your porch take her home
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize