God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize