Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize