I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize