i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize