i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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