Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
do herpes really smell.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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