but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
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I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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