At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize