i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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