saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You are the jesus of drinking
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize