i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize