We won't sleep together?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
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Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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