sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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