You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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