i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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