You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
me + whiskey = a bad person
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize